Why I’m not your Ally
Ally implies I am helping. Condescending!
Ally smacks of benevolent (m)aternalism.
Ally sounds like I am doing you a favor.
Ally implies oppression is your problem, not mine.
Ally ignores that oppression is structural and historical. We can’t switch places no matter how many good intentions I have.
Ally acts as if I am only temporarily aligning myself, but also forgets that I can go home (literally & metaphorically) if it gets too hard.
Ally makes it sound like I deserve a cookie.
Suggested instead?
Silence first. Listen. Learn.
Stop making suggestions. You aren’t there to fix things.
Step away and give some space. You don’t always need to participate.
See oppression and confirm its existence. Don’t gaslight.
Speak up so others don’t always have to carry that weight.
Cede power if you have it. Use the power you have well.
